April 20, 2006

Thursday Ponderances

Some random thoughts as I daydream about being reincarnated as Josh Smith:

-Glorious baseball experience yesterday. Set out for Shea Stadium at noon from downtown Manhattan. Four hours and five minutes later I was home. In that time frame, I saw a lightning-quick (two hour) 2-1 Braves win from $50 field level seats scalped at face value. Aside from the fact that Chipper Jones, Edgar Renteria, Marcus Giles, Carlos Beltran and Cliff Floyd sat out, the game had everything you could want -- brilliant pitching from Tim Hudson and Tom Glavine, a prodigious Andruw Jones homer, a glorious outfield assist from Braves' left fielder Matt Diaz and, best of all, Mets fans were quite salty with the outcome. As I was walking out of the park on my way to the 7 train, a guy drove by in an SUV and asked the score. When I replied that the Braves had won 2-1, he screamed, "Fuckers! Atlanta sucks!" On this day at least, the Braves were still kings of the NL East.

-Have any of you out there discovered the glory of MLBTV.com? A better 80 dollars you probably will not spend. Well, actually, that's not true. I can think of a number of better ways to spend your money, including (but not limited to) purchasing a fleet of gerbils, dressing them up in aviator jackets and helmets and launching them from one of those water balloon catapults while playing the soundtrack from "Top Gun." But MLBTV is pretty great -- for a mere 8,214 Sri Lankan Rupees you can watch every single Major League game on your computer. And -- shhhhh -- multiple people can use the same password to log on and watch games at the same time.

-I'm going upstate for a bachelor party this weekend. I don't think I realized that people went upstate for much of anything other than going to prison. Hopefully the bachelor party will not have too many similarities to the prison experience.

-In what may or may not become a recurring feature on this site, I bring you: Ask the T9 Dictionary, in which I type in a word to my cell phone's automatic speller and in return it gives me complete nonsense. Today's word: Karaoke. T9 says: "Japanle." Thank you, T9!

-Would anyone out there disagree that Dwayne Schintzius' mullet is truly one of the most disastrously wonderful hairdos of all time?

-Speaking of miserable haircuts, soon-to-be NFL QB Jay Cutler's hair is about on par with the chop jobs my dad used to give me when I was eight. Seriously, Jay -- do something about that. Also -- you should look into purchasing jaycutler.com if you can. The other Jay Cutler is kind of making you look bad.


Post a Comment

<< Home