January 23, 2006

Just Stopping By...

Well, there's been an overwhelming response from the readership (read: two people have asked where I've been in the past 24 hours), so -- I'm back.

Time is short, but I have a few things on my mind:

-I know this item is a little bit dated by now, but I feel compelled to chime in on the Antonio Davis entering the stands situation. I understand that it's a no-no for players to go into the stands after what happened at The Palace last year, but if we could just take a brief step back and look at this situation from an objective angle -- the man looked into the stands and saw a creepy dude who appeared to be harassing his wife. He then calmly went up there to see what was going on. He didn't sprint up there with fists raised. He didn't pull a switchblade under his sock or unearth a pair of nunchucks from his trousers. All he did was go up and investigate. It's kind of like the old argument about one player mauling another in the course of an NHL game (see Bertuzzi, Todd) -- why isn't that assault when it would be a crime on the street? -- but in this case, it's the reverse. If a guy were to peacefully protect his wife on a random street corner of Anytown USA, would he get punished for it? On the one hand, I can see why there can't be a precedent of allowing players to go into the stands, but at the same time, looking at it objectively, how can Antonio Davis possibly be punished?

-Just want to say that as a Braves fan, and semi-enthusiastic supporter of the much-discussed (amongst my circle, anyway) trade of Andy Marte to the Red Sox for Edgar Renteria, I'm pretty pleased to see Marte about to be shipped off by the Sox to another team. In my strange (and semi-disturbed) logic, this somehow absolves the Braves if Marte now goes out and mashes 27 homers this year (which, for the record, I think he will not). It's now the Red Sox's mistake. (By the way, should there be an "apostrophe s" there after the x? It doesn't look right at all, but I'm at a loss as to what to do.)

-A thought fresh on my mind after Kobe's 81-point outing last night: How is it that the man who makes so many efforts to emulate MJ -- from imitating the signature fadeaway jumper to harnessing the inflection of his voice -- can manage to play so spectacularly on a nightly basis, yet somehow come so far short of creating the awe that #23 created so effortlessly?

-Classy move, Barry. I hope the creaky knee you're protecting explodes during your first spring training game. Yeah, that's right. I said it. I'm sick of Barry's miserable ass. Greatest player of our era? Maybe. But it's just as easy to look at him as a cheating curmudgeon who is on the verge of trivializing some of the game's most hallowed marks. Hammerin' Hank losing his record to a cyborg? That's just not right. And I know even if Barry is/has been juicing, he's so much better than all the other juicers blah blah blah. Today -- at this moment -- I've had enough. And I wouldn't be the least bit sad if Barry and his 700+ homers went away forever.

-I know this news is somewhat old now, but I feel like it may have slipped under the radar: Damon Jones recently signed a shoe deal with Chinese sportswear company Li Ning. Is it just me, or is Damon Jones unquestionably the most annoying player in the NBA right now? Shut up about what a good shooter you are, Damon! No one cares. Frankly, you play like I play in my rec league on nights when I end the game angry at myself because I played so badly. Granted, you shoot a lot, lot better, but all you do is stand around and gun 3's! You're terrible. I think getting a Chinese shoe deal is way too high profile for you, Damon. You don't even deserve a shoe deal from Vatican City! (Whatever that means.)

Thank you, that is all.


Blogger jimmyrad said...

You can't say the Braves are off the hook bc Boston traded Marte. Nice try. And you definitely can't say "27 jacks next year." That ain't happening. He is the future of 3rd base for the Braves, meaning in 3 years, he'll be a borderling All-Star. I don't want to get into the semantics, but the window for deciding if the Braves screwed themselves is more than a year.

I hate Damon Jones, and I want to chop off his hand everytime he does that stupid little nancy-boy "3" sign after he hits A shot. I can say, without a doubt, he would be the most annoying guy ever to hang out with.

11:16 AM, January 27, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with you. Damon Jones is annoying and he sucks. Why anyone would want to give him his own shoe is a mystery. To hammer the point home, Offcolorcommentator, I agree that Damon Jones sucks as bad as you and is even less deserving of his own shoe. As for why Kobe isn't as awe inspiring as MJ...
I think it's obvious. MJ wasn't awe inspiring because of his point totals, or his vocal inflection for that matter. There were essentially three parts to his majesty. The most important was his style. No one has ever moved with the grace, fluidity, power, and unique style that MJ did. Kobe doesn't come close in this department. He is stiff legged and kind of lumbering and slow in comparison. Second for MJ was the media hype. His sponsors and the NBA turned him from demi-god into a god. This won't happen for Kobe because he is doesn't have the same potential appeal because of the style shortcomnigs mentioned earlier and because he is not unique enough. As you said, he copies Jordan, unsuccessfully. Also, he is a dickhead, even more so than Jordan. He is so insincere that his first NBA championship celebration looked fake. The third part of Jordan's mystique is his dominance. Kobe can compete in this area, but that's not enough to be the Next One. Basically Jordan was beautiful. I am not ashamed to say it. He was Michelangelo's art in motion. It was immensely pleasurable to watch the ball roll off his fingertips and hit the glass with the perfect English to drop slowly through the center of the net. His body moved like a big cat's. He made the most mundane stance or movement look like an example of athletic perfection. It is quite possible that there will never be a player as visually awe inspiring as Jordan again.

6:36 PM, February 01, 2006  
Blogger The OCC said...

p -- in a word, well put.

9:53 PM, February 13, 2006  

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