December 21, 2005

Locker Room Behavior

So there I was browsing the headlines on (as I regrettably do about 31 times per day) when I came across the following item:

"Nate Robinson missed today's game with a 'stomach virus.'"

Alright, nothing abnormal there, I thought to myself, and very nearly moved on to the next blurb. But then, just below, I read rotoworld's analysis:

"It was more than likely some sort of punishment for the naked wrestling taking place in the Knicks locker room the other day."

Right, of course. Naked wrestl--SAY WHUT? Naked wrestling? New York Knicks? I immediately raced to Google and typed in every combination of "naked," "wrestling," "Knicks" and "Nate Robinson" I could think of, but alas no news stories popped up (though links to some rather flavorful sites did).

So here I am, left with no clue as to what's going on. Did I somehow miss one of the stories of the year? Or did a foul-minded prankster intern subdue his higher-ups with an ether rag and seize control over at rotoworld HQ? Whatever the case, I need to know. Immediately. There will not be naked wrestling going on in an NBA locker room without me knowing about it!
A few other thoughts:

-On a far more innocent note than naked wrestling, I got a kick out of this moment in which Pat Riley came across exceedingly scrappy and rather bald former NBA point guard John Crotty, now a member of the media, at Riley's pregame press conference.

-Big story coming out of Houston (thanks to Mr. Yak for the tip): Apparently round-trippers hit over the fence in Bellaire's Feld Park are now ruled outs, and the player hitting the dinger is forbidden from hitting the rest of the game. Seems the concern stems from the fact that a new home has been built out behind the left field fence. As someone who takes recreational softball way too seriously, this is a total load. From what I can gather reading the article, hitting one over the fence is a truly prodigious shot, a feat downright Incaviglian in nature. Isn't this to be rewarded? I knew Texas was a backward state, but really now -- this is just going too far. What's next -- penalizing outstanding plays in the field?

-Can't say I don't hate Johnny Damon right about now. But I also can't say in some small way I didn't see this coming way back in May.

-As you know if you logged on within the past 24 hours (not likely, I know), yesterday I basically said I was giving Stromile Swift one last chance to prove me right for not shutting up about how great he was going to be to watch with Houston this year. Well, tonight Stro got his chance to start -- and, he completely crapped the bed. Left a steaming pile right in his pajama pants. As Saul Rubinek's character Lee Donowitz says in "True Romance" to the dude who played Balki Bartokomous on "Perfect Strangers": "I treated you like a son. You fucking stab me in the heart."

Couldn't have said it better myself. The Stro Show? I want a refund.


Blogger Frank G Yak said...

Re-read your Damon piece from May. Well done!

Naked Wrestling on the Knicks, can't be true? Who would Nate Robinson be wrestling with? Trevor Ariza? Couldn't have been Jamal Crawford?

Also -- what's next in Houston? No homeruns -- maybe next they'll build a hill and put a flagpole in the middle of Centerfield!

11:33 AM, December 22, 2005  
Blogger jimmyrad said...

How did you guys miss this?

Nate Robinson attacked Malik Rose in the shower, jumping on his back.

The 1st story to come out was that it was a fight over "towels and soap." One can only imagine how many OZ jokes could have come out of that.

The actual story, however, was that Malik Rose welched on a football bet and Nate Robinson wanted him to pay up. There are some classic quotes from Malik on it, none that i have on me. Some along the lines of a total acceptance of the fact he welched. For instance, "Nate wanted the money and I'm not giving it to him." (that is paraphrased.)

Stro is awful. awful. awful.

12:09 PM, December 22, 2005  

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