A Night at the Continental
The OCC and Father of OCC took a trip out to The CAA (Continental Airlines Arena) Tuesday night in hopes of seeing LeBron and Vince score many points. Some observations:
-In case you hadn't noticed, Vinsanity is back. He shot just 5-for-19 tonight, and regrettably didn't make any plays that warranted jumping out of my seat with no regard for the chicken fingers and soda flying off my lap, but Monday night -- I kid you not -- I was watching the Nets game on TV and yelped audibly on a Vince Carter missed lay-up. Did anyone see this play? He went along the baseline, did a wrong-direction 360 and almost tossed it in. It was mindblowingly athletic, completely unnecessary, and quintissentially Vince.
-As for LeBron, my first viewing of him in person didn't teach me much I wasn't already aware of. Except that he's far bigger than he looks on TV, incredibly bowlegged and gets away with traveling way too much, particularly when he's finishing drives. Normally I'm not a stickler for this kind of thing, but in the case of LeBron it bothers me -- I don't want to see a player of his caliber clearly getting away with an extra step. It's one thing to give superstar players favorable foul calls, but that third step on a drive just doesn't look right. The refs would blow the whistle on Tyronn Lue for doing it, and in this case they should treat LeBron no differently.
-Speaking of chicken fingers (see item 1 above), I think I set a Tri-State Area record for "longest wait to purchase chicken tenders and fries combo" tonight. Left the seats with about 9 seconds remaining in the first half, and got back to the seats with a minute gone by in the third quarter. Completely unacceptable. It would have almost been quicker to hangglide to Tibet and slaughter a yak than to wait it out for the bozos at the concession stand to deep fry those chicken strips.
-The two guys next to me spent much of the game exchanging banter that was irritating to the point that I felt like clubbing them with a coin-filled sock, but I will admit that I was amused when one of them referred to Nets' center Nenad Krstic as "Krstic River." Too bad Nenad's name doesn't really rhyme with "mystic," but a good effort nonetheless. Naturally, the guy who made the joke immediately discredited himself just a few minutes later when he referred to Scott Padgett as "The Pigeon" and said something about the Pigeon "getting plucked," which prompted me to immediately begin searching through my pockets to see how much change I had.
-While on the subject of things that make me want to harm people, whoever invented thundersticks should be run over by a tractor. Is there anything worse than thundersticks?
-Actually, yes there is. You know what's worse? Seeing at least three inches of ass crack every time the guy in front of you stands up. I don't get it -- do these people not wear underwear? I understand occasionally showing the top of the crack, but a third to a half is not okay. If I wanted to see male butts I'd make a football wager with Nate Robinson. Really now.
Now catching up on some news from the past few days:
-In the most high-profile instance of a former member of the 1992 Atlanta Braves turning to crime since a cracked-out and very naked Otis Nixon threatened his bodyguard with a stiletto (registration required to view link), Jeff Reardon got himself arrested for armed robbery in Florida on Monday. Other than Reardon's remarkably enjoyable beard, this story is just kind of sad. Apparently he's all dosed up on medication, and not the kind that Otis Nixon was taking when he got nude and decided to play with knives. Police found Reardon nearby the scene of the crime and he didn't make any effort to get away. Almost like he wanted to get caught all along. I don't even have an insensitive joke here. Actually, I'm sure I could think of one, but I don't even feel like it. Poor bastard.
-That Tony Parker always seemed like such a nice boy...
-Got room for one more on the Shaun Livingston bandwagon? Scoot over please.
-Backtracking a bit to Matt Lawton's comments last week about his steroid use, and I'm posting a link to the ESPN.com story, which I hate doing unless it's necessary. However, in this case it must be done, because there's quite an interesting quote from Lawton in there. "I never had the urge to take any of that stuff before," Lawton said, "but I was talking to some guys, and they guaranteed it would take the pain out." Hmm..."some guys" wouldn't be referring to allegedly-reformed Jason Giambi, would it? Naaaaah.
-I'm sure you've all heard about this by now, but Pat Riley (or "Pat O'Riley," as my dear old Grandfather calls him) has been talking about bringing in sumo wrestlers to help Shaq prepare for the pounding he takes in the paint. Obviously just a PR ploy by O'Riley to get Shaq some additional love from the refs. Personally, I don't find Riles' sumo comments the least bit amusing. Kind of cliched if you ask me. But you know what I do find amusing? An article in The Australian referring to Shaq as a "2.16m, 154kg centre." Get that metric system crap out of here!
-In case you hadn't noticed, Vinsanity is back. He shot just 5-for-19 tonight, and regrettably didn't make any plays that warranted jumping out of my seat with no regard for the chicken fingers and soda flying off my lap, but Monday night -- I kid you not -- I was watching the Nets game on TV and yelped audibly on a Vince Carter missed lay-up. Did anyone see this play? He went along the baseline, did a wrong-direction 360 and almost tossed it in. It was mindblowingly athletic, completely unnecessary, and quintissentially Vince.
-As for LeBron, my first viewing of him in person didn't teach me much I wasn't already aware of. Except that he's far bigger than he looks on TV, incredibly bowlegged and gets away with traveling way too much, particularly when he's finishing drives. Normally I'm not a stickler for this kind of thing, but in the case of LeBron it bothers me -- I don't want to see a player of his caliber clearly getting away with an extra step. It's one thing to give superstar players favorable foul calls, but that third step on a drive just doesn't look right. The refs would blow the whistle on Tyronn Lue for doing it, and in this case they should treat LeBron no differently.
-Speaking of chicken fingers (see item 1 above), I think I set a Tri-State Area record for "longest wait to purchase chicken tenders and fries combo" tonight. Left the seats with about 9 seconds remaining in the first half, and got back to the seats with a minute gone by in the third quarter. Completely unacceptable. It would have almost been quicker to hangglide to Tibet and slaughter a yak than to wait it out for the bozos at the concession stand to deep fry those chicken strips.
-The two guys next to me spent much of the game exchanging banter that was irritating to the point that I felt like clubbing them with a coin-filled sock, but I will admit that I was amused when one of them referred to Nets' center Nenad Krstic as "Krstic River." Too bad Nenad's name doesn't really rhyme with "mystic," but a good effort nonetheless. Naturally, the guy who made the joke immediately discredited himself just a few minutes later when he referred to Scott Padgett as "The Pigeon" and said something about the Pigeon "getting plucked," which prompted me to immediately begin searching through my pockets to see how much change I had.
-While on the subject of things that make me want to harm people, whoever invented thundersticks should be run over by a tractor. Is there anything worse than thundersticks?
-Actually, yes there is. You know what's worse? Seeing at least three inches of ass crack every time the guy in front of you stands up. I don't get it -- do these people not wear underwear? I understand occasionally showing the top of the crack, but a third to a half is not okay. If I wanted to see male butts I'd make a football wager with Nate Robinson. Really now.
Now catching up on some news from the past few days:
-In the most high-profile instance of a former member of the 1992 Atlanta Braves turning to crime since a cracked-out and very naked Otis Nixon threatened his bodyguard with a stiletto (registration required to view link), Jeff Reardon got himself arrested for armed robbery in Florida on Monday. Other than Reardon's remarkably enjoyable beard, this story is just kind of sad. Apparently he's all dosed up on medication, and not the kind that Otis Nixon was taking when he got nude and decided to play with knives. Police found Reardon nearby the scene of the crime and he didn't make any effort to get away. Almost like he wanted to get caught all along. I don't even have an insensitive joke here. Actually, I'm sure I could think of one, but I don't even feel like it. Poor bastard.
-That Tony Parker always seemed like such a nice boy...
-Got room for one more on the Shaun Livingston bandwagon? Scoot over please.
-Backtracking a bit to Matt Lawton's comments last week about his steroid use, and I'm posting a link to the ESPN.com story, which I hate doing unless it's necessary. However, in this case it must be done, because there's quite an interesting quote from Lawton in there. "I never had the urge to take any of that stuff before," Lawton said, "but I was talking to some guys, and they guaranteed it would take the pain out." Hmm..."some guys" wouldn't be referring to allegedly-reformed Jason Giambi, would it? Naaaaah.
-I'm sure you've all heard about this by now, but Pat Riley (or "Pat O'Riley," as my dear old Grandfather calls him) has been talking about bringing in sumo wrestlers to help Shaq prepare for the pounding he takes in the paint. Obviously just a PR ploy by O'Riley to get Shaq some additional love from the refs. Personally, I don't find Riles' sumo comments the least bit amusing. Kind of cliched if you ask me. But you know what I do find amusing? An article in The Australian referring to Shaq as a "2.16m, 154kg centre." Get that metric system crap out of here!
posted by The OCC at 12/27/2005
1 Comments:
Mr. Gavin -- you raise an excellent point. That was truly a kick in the "Artesticle" if you will. (Forgive the phrase. I'm tired.)
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