November 09, 2005

Run Budhia, Run

In recent weeks there have been countless requests (by "countless," I of course mean "zero") for an update on young Budhia Singh, the three-year-old youth in India who is prone to the excessive running of marathons. Hard to believe, but there are some people out there who claim that running in excess of 30 miles could be harmful to the child's health. This is hard to believe. These kids -- they bounce back from anything. When I was growing up, I could run all the way down to my friend's house without stopping -- and that was at least 400 feet away. All of you tightwads need to cool it.

And as for all this talk that Budhia's mysterious mentor, who purchased the child for 800 rupees, might be exploiting his protege by putting him in TV commercials? That's just nonsense. To those of you paranoid types out there crying foul play, consider this: 800 rupees is close to seventeen dollars and fifty cents! That's a movie ticket and super combo at just about any theater in Manhattan. You think this mentor is going to pony up that kind of loot just to put the kid in TV commercials that could net him, the mentor, tens of thousands of dollars? These are desperate times, but not that desperate. If you pay close to twenty dollars for the rights to a child, you had better have bigger aspirations than just putting him in some highly-lucrative commercials. You have to take that child and mold him into a champion.

At some point, you're all going to have to stop babying this kid and let him blossom. He's THREE years old. What are three-year-olds supposed to do? Run! (Unless they can't really walk that well yet.) And as for all this talk that "30 miles is too much for a three-year-old," well -- here's a little statistical news flash. It's not. You know how in old-time basketball footage they shoot two-handed set shots and silly running shots in the lane and don't even throw down sweet dunks? Well, times have changed. Thirty miles is now like the equivalent of three miles.

You want my advice, Budhia -- keep running, kid. Keep doing those TV commercials. Get it while you're hot. Who knows how much time you have left.

As a side note, should you ever decide to ditch that loser mentor of yours and decide to train with a real coach, I'm sure I could set you up with someone much better. Of course, it would cost you.
-Gotta say, I can't get enough of this Dwyane Wade Converse commercial. Fall seven times. Stand up eight. Sounds like a night out with Sebastian Janikowski.

-Big week for steroids. First publishes a massive expose on baseball's doping problem, which actually looks informative, well-researched and so atrociously long that you'd need to take a sabattical from work to read it. Then, Rafael Palmeiro goes public with a statement that, correct me if I'm wrong, we already heard months ago. B-12? That's all you've got for me, Raffy? B-12? We already heard that excuse, and frankly no one believes that you somehow tested positive for a potent anabolic steroid by injecting vitamins, so try again. Actually, don't.


Blogger jimmyrad said...

For some reason, that Wade commercial annoys me. I think it's the initial fake falldown that turns me off. Oh well. Not my tea in a cup.

Very funny Buddhia post. Keep him in your thoughts whenever the well runs dry. Maybe he'll grant us with an appearance of somesort.

In fact, I'm willing to pay his manager $20 to have Buddhia come on here and respond, even if it's only a mistake-ridden "I lik preety truks" post. I'll put the money where my mouth is, baby!

6:21 PM, November 10, 2005  

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