October 25, 2005

Monday Night Dementia

Some random thoughts from a late Monday night:

-I once forgot to bring my shorts to a basketball game, but I can't even come close to identifying with the feeling of checking into an NBA preseason game and ripping off my warmups only to realize I'm shirtless. It's honestly like one of those horrendous nightmares you wake up from and are just so happy it's not true. Well, the other night, it happened to Celtics' forward Justin Reed, and he didn't wake up from any dream.

-Adding further to his aura -- if you could call it that -- as one of the craziest individuals on Planet Sport, Rams' coach Mike Martz, on leave from the team with a heart ailment, tried to phone in a play from home on Sunday. Can't you just picture Martz sneaking upstairs to the study, hand cupped over the mouthpiece of his cell phone, frantically whispering instructions to some bewildered Rams' staffer while his overprotective wife was in the kitchen making him more soup?

-Maybe I just have a soft spot for 6-3, 270-pound closers who throw 100 mph despite having a screw holding their elbow together, but I like Bobby Jenks.

-Who says Atlanta sports fans suck? Over 70,000 strong at the GA Dome for Monday Night Football against the Jets. (Who, in an unrelated observation, desperately need a quarterback.)

-Speaking of Monday Night Football -- The latest sign that my fantasy sports "habit" might be morphing into a "problem": About midway through the third quarter of Monday's game, when Jets' RB Curtis Martin -- who was on my opponent's team in a tightly-contested match -- caught a pass out of the backfield and was upended by a Falcons' defender, without knowing what I was saying, I instinctively uttered the hopeful words "Broken neck," a clear hint of excitement in my voice.

I immediately scolded myself for having such a horrible thought...all while some sick part of me hoped Curtis would suffer a temporarily debilitating -- but not life or career-threatening -- injury.

Does this make me a horrible person? I'll leave that up to you, but I should inform you that it has been handed down from on high that the Fantasy Gods neither approved nor disapproved of my actions.

My match ended in a tie.


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