October 19, 2005

Ventilation

I hate that Bill Romanowski acts like a tremendous asshole throughout his career, uses steroids, punches a teammate in the face, ending the teammate’s career – and gets a book deal for it. What a ridiculous country.

I hate that the NBA has a new dress code, but I hate even more that the media is devoting so much attention to such a boring issue.

I hate that Fox commentator Thom Brenneman said during Game 6 of Astros-Cardinals, “Ask your doctor if [unnamed prescription drug] can make a difference for you," and then seamlessly transitioned to, "Boy, what a difference Roy Oswalt has made tonight for the Astros.”

I hate that I didn’t write down Brenneman’s exact quote.

I hate that my IPod headphones seem to be designed specifically to fall out of my ears if I turn my head or start walking.

I hate this baseball postseason.

I hate that the Braves punk out every year in the first round.

I hate that Leo Mazzone talked to the Yankees, and I want to puke thinking about him being pitching coach for another team.

I hate that the subway station I walk through every day smells like a hippo’s dick.

I hate that I think I saw Rich Eisen riding in a taxi cab tonight but couldn’t be sure if it was him before he drove away.

I am completely unsure how to react to the fact that Ron Artest is on the cover of Penthouse.

I hate that one of my fantasy football teams is 1-5.

I hate that I have a fantasy hockey team but can’t bear to watch five minutes of a single game on TV.

I hate that I can’t get NFL Sunday Ticket because I don’t have a DirecTV satellite.

I hate that Michael Vick doesn’t have anyone to throw to.

I hate that Michael Vick hasn’t figured out how to throw to anyone he has.

I hate polls on Internet sports sites.

There. I feel better now.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Hank said...

Okay, I'll bite...

I hate that both of my fantasy football teams played the team with Shaun "4 TDs" Alexander.

I hate that Roger Clemens won't be pitching Game 1 of the World Series in Yankee Stadium.

I hate that people in Anaheim think ThunderStix are cool.

I hate that people think Shaquille O'Neal is "unselfish" and "team oriented."

I hate that Matt knows what a hippo's dick smells like.

1:54 AM, October 20, 2005  
Blogger jimmyrad said...

I hate thunderstix, in general, but I hate the people that bang them together for no reason even more, like in between innings just to entertain themselves. I really hate thunderstix.

I also hate that no one here in Houston is going to feel the pain I felt after Leyritz's homer vs. ATL. Now everyone here can just go about their merry way and laugh about Pujols' homer. jerks.

I hate that Allen Iverson isn't embracing the "dress code" as an oppurtunity to wear 70's pimp suits to every game.

I hate the word verification.

3:17 PM, October 20, 2005  
Blogger The OCC said...

Hank -- your concerns as to my knowledge of a certain part of the hippo's anatomy are valid. If it makes you feel any better, I used to have a job at the zoo.

Actually, no I didn't.

Jimmyrad -- unfortunately the word verification is a necessary evil to prevent the site getting hit with comment spam. Believe me, it pains me to think that you have to spend 7 seconds trying to spell out "fwogvibv" every time you write a comment.

12:19 AM, October 21, 2005  
Blogger jimmyrad said...

It's not the 7 seconds that sucks, it's the 5 minute headache that I get from trying to sound out the word.

I do understand that it is a necessary evil, but I think that guy promoting long-lasting erections might have been a legit fan.

9:57 AM, October 22, 2005  

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