Nice Pubes, Dipshit

Does it ever bother you immensely that they don’t show it on TV when a fan rushes the field at a baseball game?

Of course the logic behind not putting such antics on television makes perfect sense – the idea is not to glorify that sort of behavior (so instead we get to hear the announcer say in an extremely disapproving tone, “Some bonehead has just run out onto the field,” when you know that the filthy bastard would much prefer to use a far more crass word than "bonehead" to describe what he thinks of the person on the field).

The problem with not showing what happens when a fan runs onto the field is that oftentimes the results are quite spectacular. Once, at a Yankees game, we saw a man run onto the field and proceed to elude the security guards for a good minute and a half or so – pulling out all of his best jukes – before being absolutely leveled by a crushing hit that would have made Donovin Darius wince.

Of course, that can’t really compare to what happened at the bullfight shown above. It occurs to us in light of seeing this video that de-pantsing people would be a very solid deterrent to rushing onto the field. (Especially if done by a bull.)

In any case, the best thing about this video is the fact that after stealing the offending fan’s britches, the bull walks around with what appear to be the dude’s undies on his head, looking around at the crowd as if to say, “What.” (As in, “What, you want some more of this, bitches?”)

Also, if you haven’t already done so, please make sure you watch just past the one-minute mark, when anchor Lou Waters comes on camera and completely tries to ruin the moment but somehow heightens it even more by saying, “Yes. The winner, and still champion. Looking around, ‘Do you want a piece of me?’”

Fantastic work, Lou. Particularly enjoyed the awkward face scratch while saying “Do you want a piece of me?”

Then Lou’s co-anchor (whose name we believe is Veronica Corningstone) says, “And you heard the crowd? Did you hear the crowd?”

To which Lou responds, “Yeah. I think they were saying 'O-lay.' Isn’t that what they say in Spain, or is that in Mexico?”

Please let us know if anyone finds out the answer to that question.

Before he signs off, Lou Waters looks directly into the camera and says in his most earnest tone (which is not all that earnest), “Hope you enjoyed it.”

We did, Lou. More than you may ever know.