July 10, 2007

Is There Any Baseball on Tonight?



The scoreboard says that "American" is playing "National" at 8:25 p.m. Does anyone know what that means?

More importantly, does anyone really care?

950 drachmas says that taking 90 seconds to watch the video embedded above will be infinitely more gratifying (not to mention about three hours shorter) than watching tonight's All-Star festivities.

And the video above isn't even that good.

Unless Barry Bonds is actually going to throw an opposing player over the outfield fence (remember, he picked Torii Hunter up over his head a few years ago), is there any real point in tuning in?

We'll go ahead and tell you what happens: American League wins. There are few, if any, plays that truly stand out over the course of the night and you'll have stayed up possibly past midnight for no particular reason at all.

Seems like the last truly entertaining thing to happen in an MLB All-Star game was Larry Walker turning his helmet around and batting from the opposite side against Randy Johnson. And come to think of it, that was kind of stupid.

But forgive the surly attitude -- we're suffering from a rather vicious case of jet lag that is making it virtually impossible to stomach the notion that Freddy Sanchez and his puke-inducing .708 OPS are on the All-Star team. Seriously, can we please do away with the rule that says that each team must be represented? Freddy Sanchez has about as much business being an All-Star as Poncho Sanchez has rocking a Fidel Castro-style beard.

Anyhow, by the time first pitch rolls around, we suspect that if we're not face down in a pool of drool with a half-eaten enchilada clutched in our trembling fist (jet lag does strange things to men), we'll at least be mildly intrigued by the match. And at the very worst we'll sift through it on DVR half speed to see if anything truly remarkable happens (such as Justin Verlander throwing a pitch at 107 mph as his right arm detaches and helicopters into the stands.)

Unfortunately, we're guessing nothing of the sort will take place.

All-Star games may have meant something at one point in time, but in a day and age when we can all watch our favorite players on the Extra Innings TV package whenever we want, all the All-Star break does is allow tired players to sneak in a DL stint if necessary and otherwise get some extra rest (which pretty significantly diminishes the quality of games leading up to the break).

From this vantage point, the All-Star game can't end soon enough. And Friday (the start of the second half) had better hurry its ass up and arrive.

Anyhow, we don't mean to ruin anyone's fun. If you're truly excited about tonight, have a blast watching the likes of Aaron Rowand and Dmitri Young determine home field advantage in the World Series.

Now if you'll excuse us, we're off to take a nap. If the alarm doesn't go off, give a shout when Friday gets here.

7 Comments:

Anonymous jeff said...

I think you're missing the important point here. These are ALL stars. Every single one of them. How can you beat that?

6:21 PM, July 10, 2007  
Blogger Sam said...

Ichiro told you to shove it OCC...

10:55 AM, July 11, 2007  
Blogger Jesse said...

I thought it was pretty interesting that year when they just had to call the game because it was tied up in the 253th inning.

But yeah, the game has basically turned into one gigantic dog and pony show.

11:25 AM, July 11, 2007  
Blogger James said...

Sam, are you his interpreter? I'm pretty sure in the post-game interview Ichiro said, "I just played in the stupidest game ever. I can't believe I have to keep coming to these. I wish I was less popular. Wait, this decides home field for the World Series? Wow, that makes no sense. My apologies to whatever National League team makes the World Series. This thing really should be held after the World Series, not have a direct impact on its outcome."

Unfortunately, his intepreter shortened it to, "I'm very honored. Thanks."

or possibly "Shove it, OCC."

4:44 PM, July 11, 2007  
Blogger James said...

Jeff, I'm going with your post being sarcasm. You have to be the most overly optimistic person ever to actually think every player there deserved to be there.

4:49 PM, July 11, 2007  
Blogger The OCC said...

I think Jeff was indeed being sarcastic. Especially if it's the Jeff that I think it is. Though it could be some random, overly optimistic Jeff, in which case I retract the previous statement.

For the record, I was definitely disappointed to see that there actually was an exciting play in the game. Curse you, Ichiro!

I'm ready for real baseball again.

7:20 PM, July 11, 2007  
Blogger Call me BIZZLE said...

HA! The all-star game determining home field advantage...That's a crock!! I guarantee if the cards are any good and had a legitimate shot at the world series, LaRussa pinch hits Pujols in the bottom of the 9th with bases loaded...not that I saw that live and was disgusted. I heard WAY TOO MUCH about it the next day. The Mid Season Classic is anything but that...and more specifially the worst three days of the year for sports and sports fans. Good job OCC giving it the laud it deserves!!! Although an article just acknowledging it's exsistance might be a little too much...

2:55 PM, July 12, 2007  

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