Is There Any Baseball on Tonight?

The scoreboard says that "American" is playing "National" at 8:25 p.m. Does anyone know what that means?

More importantly, does anyone really care?

950 drachmas says that taking 90 seconds to watch the video embedded above will be infinitely more gratifying (not to mention about three hours shorter) than watching tonight's All-Star festivities.

And the video above isn't even that good.

Unless Barry Bonds is actually going to throw an opposing player over the outfield fence (remember, he picked Torii Hunter up over his head a few years ago), is there any real point in tuning in?

We'll go ahead and tell you what happens: American League wins. There are few, if any, plays that truly stand out over the course of the night and you'll have stayed up possibly past midnight for no particular reason at all.

Seems like the last truly entertaining thing to happen in an MLB All-Star game was Larry Walker turning his helmet around and batting from the opposite side against Randy Johnson. And come to think of it, that was kind of stupid.

But forgive the surly attitude -- we're suffering from a rather vicious case of jet lag that is making it virtually impossible to stomach the notion that Freddy Sanchez and his puke-inducing .708 OPS are on the All-Star team. Seriously, can we please do away with the rule that says that each team must be represented? Freddy Sanchez has about as much business being an All-Star as Poncho Sanchez has rocking a Fidel Castro-style beard.

Anyhow, by the time first pitch rolls around, we suspect that if we're not face down in a pool of drool with a half-eaten enchilada clutched in our trembling fist (jet lag does strange things to men), we'll at least be mildly intrigued by the match. And at the very worst we'll sift through it on DVR half speed to see if anything truly remarkable happens (such as Justin Verlander throwing a pitch at 107 mph as his right arm detaches and helicopters into the stands.)

Unfortunately, we're guessing nothing of the sort will take place.

All-Star games may have meant something at one point in time, but in a day and age when we can all watch our favorite players on the Extra Innings TV package whenever we want, all the All-Star break does is allow tired players to sneak in a DL stint if necessary and otherwise get some extra rest (which pretty significantly diminishes the quality of games leading up to the break).

From this vantage point, the All-Star game can't end soon enough. And Friday (the start of the second half) had better hurry its ass up and arrive.

Anyhow, we don't mean to ruin anyone's fun. If you're truly excited about tonight, have a blast watching the likes of Aaron Rowand and Dmitri Young determine home field advantage in the World Series.

Now if you'll excuse us, we're off to take a nap. If the alarm doesn't go off, give a shout when Friday gets here.