June 25, 2007

I Think I See Blue... He Looks Glorious

Kind of like Roger Clemens' brief season with the Yankees thus far, this video starts off well -- think 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 k's in a win over Pittsburgh on June 9th -- then hits a wall about midway through (sort of like the Rocket did at Coors Field last week).

In any case, there are some quality moments here, and frankly some of the best comedic acting by a really, really old dude since Patrick Cranshaw (R.I.P.) made his inspired turn as Joseph "Blue" Palasky in Old School. The finest moment of that performance of course being the scene wherein Blue -- moments before his death -- is preparing to wrestle a pair of half-nude co-eds in a kiddie pool filled with K-Y Jelly and turns to Will Ferrell's character of Frank Ricard to say, "Ring the bell you fuckin' pansie," a very firm reminder that he (Blue) is indeed very much ready to begin the wrestling match.

We fully understand that the Yankees are an organization steeped in decades and decades of tradition, and that they're one of the most recognizable and (in some people's minds) respected organizations in all of sports and blah blah blah. But wouldn't it be wonderful if some video editing genius reenacted the scene with Blue from Old School and dubbed in Roger Clemens in Blue's place? Just picture it: Right before Clemens came out of the bullpen for every start he would look right at the monitor and say in his most intense Texas drawl, "Ring the bell you fuckin' pansie," and then charge onto the field as the crazed Bronx crowd heaved hot dogs, beer bottles, cheap giveaway t-shirts and anything else they could find onto the field in delirious excitement.

Wouldn't any baseball fan in his right mind -- Yankee hater or not -- pay good money to see this scene unfold?

"Dammit, Blue was old. That's what old people do. They die."
-Bernard "Beanie" Campbell


Post a Comment

<< Home