Mozart's First Symphony

In case you’re wondering what kind of level we’re operating on over here today, let’s just say – this machine has seen more well-oiled days before (whatever that means).

In any case, with nothing sports-related coming across our wires that stands out as particularly compelling (after all, we’re fresh out of jokes to make about incarcerated Bengals in the wake of Chris Henry’s recent two-day sentencing), we have chosen to expand our scope beyond the world of sports, as we are occasionally wont to do.

And when the following lead fell into our lap (courtesy of the AP via Yahoo News), for some reason it was just too much to handle:

ANTWERP, Belgium – Mozart, an iguana with an erection that has lasted over a week, will have his penis amputated in the next couple of days.

The article did not say what caused said erection, but we’re speculating that Mozart may have been catching up on Season 2 of Rome on HBO.

Another noteworthy passage from the article reads:

“Mozart, sitting on the shoulders of his keeper as camera crews focused on his red, swollen erection, seemed unperturbed by the news.”

Wow. Just imagine if you had spent your whole life trying to become a well-established cameraman and you found yourself on assignment focusing your lens on an iguana’s “red, swollen erection.” Is that the point at which you begin to question exactly what you’re doing in the profession?

By the way, as a side note for those who might have been concerned about Mozart’s future urinary tract and sexual functionality, male iguanas have two penises. So they’ve got that going for them.

Which is nice.