Rick Majerus is Monitoring Your Fax Machine Usage

The following interaction took place between TV commentators Dave O’Brien and Rick Majerus during ESPN’s broadcast of the Texas-Oklahoma State game Tuesday night while the two were discussing the spectacular play of star Texas freshman Kevin Durant:

O’Brien: Of course [Durant] torched Missouri for 34 and 13 recently. Missouri coach Mike Anderson said, “Send him to the League.”

O’Brien [continuing the play-by-play]: Curry on the money. Jameson Curry… He has scored in double figures in all 17 games this season. He has 7 tonight…

Majerus [bringing the conversation back to Durant]: Was that why he was faxing agent numbers out this week?

O’Brien [laughing]: Not a bad idea… get a head start…

This conversation begs a number of important questions:

1) Admittedly without having pored over the NCAA rules and regulations pertaining to proper behavior of student athletes (a document I’d personally rather light on fire and stuff down my pants than read in its entirety), doesn’t it come across as decidedly un-kosher for college hoops players to have explicit contact with agents (via fax or otherwise) while still enrolled at school?

2) And if that’s the case, did Rick Majerus just get Kevin Durant in trouble?

3) Or is The OCC way misguided here and it’s actually okay for players to have contact with agents as long as it’s done within certain parameters? (This seems kind of unlikely given how tight-anused the NCAA is when it comes to… well, just about everything.)

4) Or is this completely a moot point because Majerus was just making a weird, sarcastic remark that could easily be misinterpreted as stating some kind of inside knowledge as to Durant’s fax machine-using habits even though it was actually nothing more than a slightly misguided joke?

5) What does it mean to be “faxing agent numbers out” anyways? And who would Durant be faxing agent numbers to?

6) And who’s ever known of a college kid to use a fax machine, other than the guy who lived in The OCC’s freshman dorm and inexplicably had a fax machine in his room, only to one night come home to find that his deaf roommate, in a complete drunken rage, was peeing on said fax machine?

But now we digress. The point is, something mildly fishy may or may not have happened involving Kevin Durant and agents and a fax machine, and said impropriety (which may or may not have happened) may have subsequently been exposed by Rick Majerus on ESPN. (And as a side note, Kevin Durant is really, really good.)

Whatever the case, it seems like we really should get to the bottom of this situation, and if we should find that any improprieties have taken place, we must consider it our civic duty to conceal any findings from the NCAA at all costs.

From here on out, I recommend that we communicate only via fax. Other channels might not be safe.

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