There's Been a Loss of Cabin Pressure

Bruce, I'm gonna need a fact check here: What's the worst case of airplane ear ever recorded?

I think I may be making a run at the record. And what's strange is I haven't been on a plane in over a week.

For a minute I was thinking that maybe this was my body's involuntary reaction to try to block out Troy Aikman's mind-numbing color commentary on Sunday, but I've since dismissed that as highly improbable.

Whatever the case, I now have some idea what it's like to be a crazy person -- constantly popping my ears and contorting my head to try to relieve the pressure, all the while thinking that if this condition doesn't improve soon I may have to pull a Vernon Maxwell and outright deck somebody.

Hopefully soon I'll be able to concentrate on something else, like sports. And writing. In the meantime I'm off to jab at my eardrums with an ice pick.

Either that or purchase some cough medicine.