January 10, 2008

Please Get This Man a Bandage

Today I overheard an elderly man directing his friend towards a nearby Duane Reade pharmacy. But thanks to a faulty synapse or some other minute malfunction of the brain, what he accidentally said was "Dwayne Wade."

He corrected himself a moment later.

As I walked away, I realized that this little verbal slip-up actually made perfect sense. After all, what currently suiting up NBA player is more in need of pharmaceutical assistance (if not full-blown medical attention) than Dwayne Wade?

So it is written. From this day forth, we shall no longer refer to the pharmacy by its proper name, and no longer shall we call the Miami Heat star by his given moniker. The pharmacy in question (or any pharmacy, for that matter) is now called Duane Wade, and the malady-plagued basketball player is hereto forth referred to as Dwayne Reade.

And when that gets tiresome in... oh, say... about 15 minutes, we'll switch back to the way we did things before.


Blogger Frank G Yak said...

As a Knicks fan, i once encouraged my friends to refer to the street in Manhattan not as it is usually pronounced ... but rather as the name of the injury-prone 2 guard Alan Houston.

As in I'm going to a bar on Houston (like the city) street tonight.

It didn't work, but i tried

10:09 PM, January 14, 2008  
Anonymous Aimee Berg said...

A worthy, noble attempt, friend.

4:47 AM, January 15, 2008  

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