Come On In

At one major nationwide hotel chain, instead of having a traditional Do Not Disturb sign, there’s a little card you put in the key slot that says in capital letters, “THERE’S A GOOD REASON FOR YOU NOT TO KNOCK RIGHT NOW.”

Is this supposed to be amusing or clever? Because it is certainly not amusing, and any cleverness intended to be contained within this phrase is lost on me.

More importantly, I resent the implication that just because I don’t want you to barge in and clean my room, it means that I am definitely doing something shady. Sure, for all you know I’ve got a whole horde of howler monkeys tied up hand and foot in here while I read them Shel Silverstein poems, but isn’t it just as likely that I’m sitting in front of my laptop typing an innocent blog entry, and I simply don’t want you to come in and replenish my shampoo because you doing so will undoubtedly interrupt my train of thought?

If you insist on making your hotel’s Do Not Disturb signs have a little bit of humor, at least give me a few options to choose from so that I’m not incriminating myself for something I haven’t done. Some suggested possibilities:

“I’M WRITING A BLOG ENTRY IN HERE. IT WOULD BE VERY DISRUPTIVE IF YOU CAME IN AND REPLENISHED MY SHAMPOO.”

“RABID MAMMALS HOGTIED, LISTENING TO POETRY – NOT SAFE TO ENTER.”

“THERE’S A GOOD REASON FOR YOU NOT TO KNOCK RIGHT NOW. IF YOU’RE CURIOUS TO FIND OUT WHAT THAT REASON IS, PLEASE KNOCK ON THE DOOR AND THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN WILL TELL YOU.”

Now if you'll pardon me, I have to run. These howler monkeys aren't going to feed themselves.