June 02, 2006

My, It's Chilly in Here

  • Tremendous moment on Thursday night's edition of Inside the NBA following Game 5 of the Suns-Mavs series: David Aldridge was reporting from Miami on the Heat-Pistons series, and at the end of his report when he threw it back to the studio, Charles Barkley was laughing uncontrollably. Shortly afterward, Barkley uttered something to the effect of, "Is it cold down there in Miami?" It took me (and studio host Ernie Johnson) a moment to digest, but I believe the implication from Sir Charles was that the esteemed Mr. Aldridge was suffering momentarily from the condition commonly referred to among the chronically immature as "SNE" (short for Sudden Nipple Erection). I myself was only half watching the report, so I can neither confirm nor deny whether or not Aldridge was indeed "nipping out," but this episode begs the question: Is there any other televised sports personality on the planet with a job of Barkley's caliber and exposure who can get away with commenting on the status of another man's nipples on air? I think the answer is a resounding no.
  • A friend of mine has a friend (true story) who works in a Major League front office, and according to this source (who will remain unnamed in part because I don't know what his name is), Rockies' 1B Todd Helton is racist to the point that it affects the composition of the team's roster. I'm not saying whether this is true or not, but consider this: The Rockies' everyday lineup (save for catcher, which is often manned by Miguel Ojeda) is composed entirely of white players. And the fact is, that's not true of any other Major League team. Once again, I don't have enough information to be making any accusations at this point, but...let's just say this is very interesting. If this story ever breaks, just remember your old pal The OCC, who dares to put it all on the line to give you the inside scoop. (What exactly I've put on the line to bring you this information I am not certain; mainly I just wanted to use that phrase.)
  • Lastly, a few words on comebacks: Jay Williams appears to be close to returning to the NBA, Gilbert Arenas (with some help from Mike Wilbon) convincingly defends his actions after the recent traffic incident, George Karl's son is fighting cancer, and perhaps most importantly -- just when you thought he was gone, retired to some obscure rural outpost never to be heard from again, Jeff Blauser has reemerged into the national consciousness. Try all you want, but you just can't keep a star like The 'Blaus out of the news.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Matt, that Helton comment is exactly what separates blogs from news. And I like it. Except that I've had Helton for five years in a fantasy keeper league and I love him, sort of.

9:39 PM, June 07, 2006  
Blogger The OCC said...

Cheers, Jeff. I don't usually like to jump all over rumors, but for some reason this one really seems believable to me. Also, I nominate Helton for the All Formerly Juiced Team. He used to be a lot bigger and hit a lot more home runs.

7:51 PM, June 08, 2006  

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