May 24, 2006

Bad Break

  • Going to kick off today's entry with some rare talk of equines. And by "equines," to inform the uneducated, I mean horsies. I'll come right out and say that I'm really not feeling this Barbaro story. So the horse broke his leg. And it was gross. And he might die. But he's a horse! Are you really going to tell me that this is the best we can do this week? As you'll shortly find out, there's a lot of interesting stuff going on, but we're going with the gimpy-legged beast as front page news? Please, give me a break (pun not intended but noticed later). Wake me up if he dies. Otherwise, I don't want to hear about it.
  • Some advice to you kids: Don't do drugs. But if you do find yourself in possession of them (remember, I don't approve of this behavior), don't do what Florida State hoops recruit Jon Kreft did. After already being busted for marijuana possession, this master criminal offered up to police unsolicited that he had stashed a sack of cocaine in his butt. Honestly, how dumb are you? I understand the idea of pre-emptively fessing up so as to avoid increasing the severity of the penalty, but do you really think the police were going to search his butt crack? Strike that question. Of course they were going to search his butt crack.
  • And if you need proof that there are sick pervert police officers out there who are prone to searching peoples private areas, look no further than the dude who was caught rogering two ladies in a bathroom at Houston's Minute Maid Park. Officer, you are hereby relieved of duty. Could have been worse, I suppose -- at least one of them was his wife.
  • Fine work by The Onion drawing a parallel between the current administration of the Knicks and the current administration of our country. It actually works quite well. Maybe Isiah and Dubya should switch roles. Dubya did, as you know, once own the Texas Rangers, so he's got experience there. And Isiah is completely incompetent when it comes to running an organization, so how could he possibly be worse? He'd probably acquire a whole bunch of overpriced countries and attempt to make their people fit into American culture, to no avail.
  • In closing, I'd like to leave you with one of my all-time favorite commercials which I have recently re-discovered thanks to the wonder of YouTube. I present you with Alan and Jerome, the irreverent and delightfully idiotic Fox Sports basketball mascots. Why they stopped making these commercials, I will never know. Though I suppose it's possible either Alan or Jerome bottomed out on crystal meth or something. Why must the brightest stars flame out so fast? Alan and Jerome -- you may be gone, but you are not forgotten!


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