Proper Protection is Advised

From the files of "Jesus, that sounds uncomfortable," it has come to light that Padres pitcher Chris Young is suffering from a severe case of I-don't-know-what-you-call-it-but- something-is-really-wrong-with-his-head (the result of his taking a line drive off the face from Albert Pujols on May 21). As Padres manager Bud Black told the San Diego Union Tribune,

"He can't taste his food. His sense of smell is not there...He'll probably have to have a septum procedure. At this point, the main focus is on the small crack in the skull. That has to close up so they can feel very comfortable about no infection getting in his brain."

That sounds terribly uncomfortable. And frankly, the way Pujols is lashing the baseball these days, it's probably a good idea to either a) sport a helmet on the mound (see photo above) or b) release your pitch and promptly hit the deck. Then again, that option leaves your kidneys and other vital organs dangerously exposed. File this under the very rare instance (the other being Greg Maddux peeing on teammates in the shower) that I'm actually quite happy to not be a Major Leaguer.