February 23, 2007

Love in the Wild West, Part Deux: The Boston Massacre

It seems like just a few weeks ago that we were celebrating the offbeat and unconventional love-related stylings of Celtics’ PG Delonte West on this site. (Come to think of it, it was just a few weeks ago.)

But now it’s become quite apparent that something’s downright rotten in Denmark, as Delonte recently got the Jonathan Babineaux canine treatment from his recently dumped girlfriend.

Which is not to say that he was murdered (as it is alleged that Babineaux recently slayed his girlfriend’s hound) – more accurately, Delonte’s girlfriend allegedly bit him, tried to strangle the life out of his body and then attempted to slash the life out of her own body with shards of glass.

It should be noted that the girlfriend, Caryn Taylor, says that she wasn’t trying to kill herself but was trying to prove to Delonte that she wasn’t “(expletive) around” – as the Boston Herald’s report puts it – about their relationship.

Nothing quite says “I care about you” like choking someone and then slashing up your own wrists!

Apparently this whole thing came about because Delonte had some friends and family who had been staying with the couple and were, according to Taylor, “picking on her.”

Just a hunch, but maybe they were picking on her because she’s obviously out of her mind.

At this point, we can’t help but think back to Delonte’s spectacular discourse on love on ESPN.com’s Page 2, and in particular, we’re thinking of this quote, used to describe part of a romantic evening with a hypothetical lover on a boat:

“OK, so from there, we're doing a midnight skinny-dipping jump. Alright? From there, hopefully she's got money because I hope Jaws gets her, boom, make sure she got me in the will, bank, I'm good. Oh well, shark got her! Jaws got her. Nah, we ain't going there.”

This was obviously some kind of strange joke at the time, but right now, you have to think that Delonte West might “hope Jaws gets her” more sincerely than ever before.


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