Pounding One Out

Must be brief, for it is Friday and I'm in Texas for a bachelor party weekend which may or may not include a Minnesota Vikings-style boat trip out onto a lake (hopefully without the accompanying legal troubles). So with time constraints in mind and while wondering what really happened out there on Lake Minnetonka, I shall attempt to wrap up the week in as tidy of a fashion as possible:

• It's been quite some time since I added a new Quote of the Unspecified Time Period Until I Find a Better One, but I suppose that's the beauty of calling it that -- you can add a quote whenever you please. At any rate, the quote we're going with is from Yankees' righthander Mike Mussina, who uttered this gem when speaking to Sports Illustrated about how he enjoys doing crossword puzzles with teammates: "When we get a group, we can really pound one out." Yikes. A rather unfortunate sexual connotation here. Really give new meaning to the term "righthander," doesn't it?

• Fantasy Sports Lesson of the Week: The other night, a friend of mine -- let's call him Mr. Clown (don't ask) -- was offered Mark Prior for Juan Pierre in his baseball league. He sought my advice on the deal, and knowing that Pierre has been pretty disappointing this year while having the gut feeling that Prior is about to come back and dominate for 130 innings, as he seems to do every year, I advised Mr. Clown to accept the trade immediately. Heeding my advice, he whipped out his...laptop (get your mind out of the gutter, Mussina!) and went to the screen where he would process the trade. Having consumed at least one and possibly more than one 24 oz. can of PBR, Mr. Clown looked directly at his choices: "Accept Trade" and "Reject Trade," at which point he promptly clicked the latter. Immediately realizing his mistake, he attempted to scramble and hit the "Stop" button on his browser, but it was too late. When he re-offered the trade, the other owner asked for more in return. So what's the lesson here? No, it is not "Don't mix booze and fantasy sports." Quite the contrary -- the combo can be rather delightful, that is, until you wake up the next morning and realize that you've ruined your entire team with bizarre waiver wire transactions. The lesson is, quite simply, look at what the button says before you click on it. Remind me, if I am ever in a position to do so, not to hire Mr. Clown as a demolitions expert. Sum'bitch would be clipping the green wire when I clearly told him to cut the red.