Fatal Transaction

On Sunday morning, I picked up Richard Zednik in my fantasy hockey league.

Later that evening, he got cut by a teammate's skate blade and almost died.

To answer your first question, yes, I really am in a fantasy hockey league. My team, Hockules, has won the league title three years in a row, but has surprisingly struggled this year (or perhaps not surprisingly, considering that the other people in the league know a lot more about NHL hockey than I do).

To answer your second question, no, I am not ashamed to be in a fantasy hockey league, though I understand that based on established societal norms, I probably should be.

As for your third question, yes, I am currently having Bruce the intern look into whether or not there is some sort of hex on Hockules that may have caused the Zednik injury. I am not a superstitious person, but I will admit that it concerns me a tad bit that prior to yesterday I had probably spent somewhere in the vicinity of zero seconds thinking about Richard Zednik in my entire life, but the moment he entered my consciousness (via the portal known as Yahoo Sports Fantasy Hockey), he suffered a near fatal wound to the neck.

In case you're curious as to the methodology Bruce is using to confirm the possibility of a Hockules jinx, it's pretty complicated to explain, but basically he's adding random players to the roster over the next few days and then waiting to see if they almost die.

So far, thankfully, we're in the clear. And rest assured, until I can confirm that this whole thing was just a coincidence, I'll be sure to hold off on making any multi-player trades.