June 21, 2006

My, What Lovely Spandex You Have

Some thoughts after a disappointing but highly entertaining NBA Finals Game 6:
  • I'm not pleased with the notion of Miami becoming NBA champ, but considering some of the entertainment spawned by Game 6, I can't be too angry. For instance: Early in the third quarter, in a new, creative twist on free throw line heckling, Mavs' forward Josh Howard, with no advance warning whatsoever, dropped his pants like a man engaging in illicit behavior in a back alley while Shaq was attempting to toss up a pair of bricks from the charity stripe. Howard then proceeded to remove a wrap from his thigh while he stood there in his silly-looking spandex (as if there's any other kind). I'm pretty sure pulling down your pants while the other team is shooting free throws is prohibited, but if it's not, it really should be when Shaq is at the line. The big fella has enough trouble knocking 'em down without having to watch people getting partially naked out of the corner of his eye.
  • And on the subject of wardrobe oddities, did anyone else notice Avery Johnson's tie? The thing was dangling a good 3-4 inches below the waistline, so low in fact that it's possible it was hanging even lower than his...never mind. Seriously, though, I don't claim to be any sort of high society fashion cognoscenti type, but I'm pretty sure the regulation tie length is about halfway down the belt, not halfway down the...umm, never mind.
  • I'm happy these NBA playoffs are over if for no other reason than I don't have to watch Dwayne Wade get bogus foul calls until next year. I would argue the worst one came with just under 30 seconds left in the game, with Dallas trailing by one, when Wade drove by Dirk Nowitzki and basically punched him in the stomach to somehow "draw" the foul. You know you've reached superstar status when you get to the line while taking a swing at somebody's abdomen.
  • Is there some kind of unstated cosmic rule that says you can't win an NBA title with a former Hawks' point guard running the show? I believe the answer is "Yes," if the point guard in question is Jason Terry. I've said multiple times during this season that Terry, admittedly a pretty productive player who is capable of hitting big shots, has a tendency to lapse into "Hawk Mode," which sounds like some kind of badass super-kill death function on a military helicopter, but is in fact an instance in which a player (usually a former Hawk), with very little advance warning or reason, makes a completely boneheaded play at a rather inopportune moment. Tonight, it was Terry's failure to box out (on one play he literally just stood there inside the free throw line while Wade flew by him for the offensive board) and his insistence on hoisting late game shots instead of getting the ball to Nowitzki that hurt the Mavs in the worst way. Being a former Hawk is like a really rotten case of herpes -- you think you've got the thing beat until it surfaces again at the worst time. Sorry Jason, there's no cure for this one. You're a Hawk for life.


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