November 13, 2006

The Stonewashed Clipper

You’ve probably never heard of Yaroslav Korolev, the rarely-used Russian forward for the LA Clippers.

So you probably don’t realize that he’s one of the bravest players in the NBA.

But before your mind starts running wild with images of a lanky, 6-foot-9 Russian diving into a subterranean snake pit to rescue a group of preschoolers from a gruesome, venomous demise, just understand that the concept of bravery is being used in this instance to describe something entirely different than your traditional notion of heroic behavior.

In this case, bravery is used to explain certain choices made with regard to fashion.

As you can read in this recent blog entry by L.A. Times columnist J.A. Adande, Korolev’s fashion tastes are, how should we say… appallingly bizarre. Consider this combo:

A “discotheque-y shirt” (Adande’s words), stonewashed Kenneth Cole jeans, a white belt and red loafers.

Now, as someone who’s been known to throw on the occasional unconventional outfit, please don’t take this to mean that I disapprove.

Disapproval would be this statement from Korolev’s teammate Cuttino Mobley, who told Adande: “If I had nothing else to wear in life, I would have to put it on. Or at least walk around naked.”

Never mind that Mobley is actually being a terrible hypocrite considering some of his own past fashion choices. The real point here is that we’ve got a visionary in our midst. And though you might find the mental image of white belt/white jeans/red loafers powerful enough to induce vomiting, you have to appreciate the fact that Korolev is confident (or clueless) enough to rock such an outfit, all consequences be damned.

Because you just know that in addition to Mobley’s comment, Korolev's teammates must be relentlessly clowning on him about this. Sam Cassell must be talking unbelievable amounts of shit. Tim Thomas is probably walking up to Yaroslav and waving his hand in his face like he does when he hits a trey. I bet even Chris Kaman gets in a few choice digs before he walks out of the locker room wearing a pair of jean shorts and LA Gear high tops.

My message to you, Yaroslav Korolev, is this: Keep on rocking that outfit. Wear it like a badge of honor. Because no matter how silly your teammates might make you feel, your brave fashion choices should be an inspiration to us all.

Though as one of your most vocal supporters, I did have just one thing I wanted to ask: Any chance of losing the white belt? Between you and me, that thing is kind of ridiculous.

2 Comments:

Blogger kuniansky said...

Yo! Korolev, it ain't Halloween.

3:12 PM, November 13, 2006  
Anonymous Aimee Berg said...

Get that man a whynatte t-shirt!

10:45 PM, November 13, 2006  

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