What Tasty Bullets That Gun Has

On Monday, as I am occasionally wont to do, I boarded an airplane. The flight was rather long, and about 4.5 hours into it, I exhausted most existing means of entertainment (I stopped short of eating the pre-packaged, microwaved cheeseburger that could undoubtedly survive a nuclear holocaust).

So I turned to the Sky Mall magazine. I killed about two minutes flipping through the first 39 pages, until, on page 40 -- I spotted something.

THE MARSHMALLOW SHOOTER, said the font below the silly-looking purple gun.

The description read: "This clever pump-action device shoots sweet, edible miniature marshmallows over 30 feet, and it even has an LED sight that projects a safe beam of red light to help locate a target for pinpoint accuracy. The easy-to-refill magazine holds 20 marshmallows for fast, nonstop action."

I immediately went down to the lab (not located on board the plane) to check my blood for traces of peyote.

This clever pump-action device shoots sweet, edible miniature marshmallows over 30 feet?

Are we so lazy as a society that we have to blast our marshmallows across the house to one another instead of getting up to retrieve them from the bag?

Are we so obsessed with guns that we need a gun that shoots candy? (and a candy gun with a laser site, at that.)

Not wanting to miss out on this offer, I immediately ordered six Marshmallow Shooters, at $24.95 a pop.