March 30, 2007

Rocker in the Free World










Recently received a noteworthy communiqué from our friend Jesse at Whynatte Inc. The Whynatte, in case you haven’t heard, is the beverage sensation that’s sweeping the Eastern and Western seaboards – and pretty much all the territory in between.

A communiqué, in case you are unaware, is an official bulletin or communication.

Writes Jesse:

So, I'm out at a trendy restaurant in Atlanta last night, meeting up with this girl for her birthday celebration. The place is a total meat market; you wouldn't be surprised to see skinned yak dangling on hooks from the ceiling. Picture the cheesiest guys, all investment banker looking fellows in suits, trying to take home 30 year old women with fake racks.

My party is at a table off to the side of the bar, and at the table next to us is none other than John Rocker. Rocker looks like he's been keeping up with his health, but he has a haircut that resembles something out of a 90's rock video. His locks are almost down to his shoulders, with his hair swept back over his head. Pure cheese.

The most ironic part about the John Rocker sighting was the fact that he was sitting down at the table with AN ASIAN DATE. After berating the Asian population in the mass media, John Rocker has decided that while they may not make such good drivers, they make excellent dinner dates.

What's more, I figured that I would brush aside my disdain for John Rocker, and see if I could get a photo of him drinking a Whynatte. Figuring that he would not be so inclined to take a drink from a male stranger, I sent over one of the attractive cohorts that was hanging out with me at my table. Alas, John was somewhat open to the idea of dropping an ice cold shot of Jagermeister into a hot latte, but he was apparently not imbibing on alcohol that evening.

Not sure about the rest of you, but what we found most strange about this story was the part where Rocker showed a great degree of restraint in resisting not only the tempting allure of the Whynatte, but somehow plugged his ears to the siren song of lady alcohol altogether.

We definitely would have pictured Rocker as the kind of guy who would never turn down a drink, and in fact would tell you to hurry up and get him one -- bitch -- right after he asked you why you were drinking such a girlie beer when he saw your Blue Moon with the lemon wedge in it.

But apparently, what we thought to be the case was actually quite wrong.

And somehow, we’ve just been reminded by John Rocker of all people that preconceived notions are quite often incorrect.

2 Comments:

Blogger JBS said...

I always thought that he would act like Cam Neely/Sea Bass and aggressively point at his head and demand a round for everyone. John Rocker not drinking alcohol? That seems like Daddy Yankee telling you he doesn't smoke weed.

10:49 AM, March 30, 2007  
Blogger Call me BIZZLE said...

Cheese and latte/jager doesn't exactly strike me as the perfect combination as much as, say, Nick Swisher and douche. In fact, I find it about as odd as the picture below of the Chinese giant and his groin-high wife (where do I find me one of those?!). Perhaps a nice chilled glass of Gewurztraminer would have perfectly complimented Rocker and his cheese. And, quite frankly, Whynatte should not lower it's standards past a certain point, beneath which certainly lies Rocker.

12:04 PM, April 03, 2007  

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