August 10, 2005

Leap of Faith

You've probably heard the news by now -- last night at Yankee Stadium some sauced-up youth made the completely assanine decision to leap from the upper deck of the stands onto the net behind home plate. As absurd of a maneuver as this is, I am ashamed to admit that I can actually identify with the mentality behind it. You see, as a 13-year-old junior high student, I once decided -- essentially on a whim -- to leap off the front step of my school bus as it approached my house in the 10-15 mph range. Why did I think this would be a good idea? I'm not sure -- to be honest, I don't know that I thought it out that much. Our bus driver used to let us stand on the front steps with the door open as she approached our houses, and I basically spent a couple of days thinking about the possibility of doing it until one day, before I knew what was happening, I was soaring through the air. I was doing it!

The joy was short-lived. I hit the pavement and my legs were swept out from under me as though done by some great ninja from a mythical tale. My entire body hit the pavement sideways with great force, my left shoulder bearing the brunt of the impact and producing a scar I bear to this day.

As I lay there in shame, disgrace and embarassment -- I will never forget this -- an older high school student by the name of Marc Bates stuck his head out the window and called out as the bus drove away a one-word damnation that pretty much summed everything up: "Dumbass." As the bus faded out of sight, I think I heard the driver cackling.

I bring up what happened to me so many years ago I suppose as a show of solidarity for our intrepid friend who made that incredible leap last night at Yankee Stadium. Though as I think about it, when I made my own dangerous and ill-advised jump, I was 13 -- this guy last night was 18, young but theoretically old enough to know better than to jump out of a stadium's upper deck. And furthermore, that's just it -- my jump was from a moving bus, but I was only about two feet off the ground. This guy jumped out of the upper deck of a major stadium.

I didn't want it to come to this, but I'm pretty sure there's only one thing to say:

Dumbass.

10 Comments:

Blogger jmals said...

I was at a Yankee game in the late 80s when a drunk guy, at least 35 years of age, jumped on to the net. However, that wasn't the most excitingly bizarre event during this particular contest. Late in the game, against Dave Raghetti I'm sure, a Royal hit a non-pinetar tainted homer into the right field bleachers. The fans chanted for the ball to be thrown back and the momentary souvenier ended up back on the outfield grass. The thing is, Jesse Barfield didn't want the ball either, so he picked it up, and hurled over the rightfield wall and out of the stadium!!

11:33 AM, August 10, 2005  
Blogger jimmyrad said...

That kid defintely got laid after the game.

3:24 PM, August 10, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

he got arrested by the police and taken into custody. he probably did get laid, but not in the way he was anticipating.

4:40 PM, August 10, 2005  
Blogger The OCC said...

Yeah, if you watch the video of the incident (available from this link: http://newyork.yankees.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/news/article.jsp?ymd=20050810&content_id=1164624&vkey=news_nyy&fext=.jsp&c_id=nyy

it's pretty clear when the cops are pulling him off the net right at the end that they aren't planning on buying him an ice cream.

5:17 PM, August 10, 2005  
Blogger jimmyrad said...

I don't think he's a dumbass. I just think he's very curious and motivated to find answers quickly, such as "If I jump, will that net hold me?" Most people would argue and bicker back and forth with no resolution. Everyone has friends like that that will just argue to argue. This guy took matters into his own hands to prove his point beyond a shadow of a doubt. I salute him.

5:24 PM, August 10, 2005  
Anonymous Hank said...

Watching the incident live was interesting. The game stopped for about five minutes as this knucklehead tried to figure out what to do. For at least two minutes he kind of sat with his head in his hands, looking amazed that A) he had done such a stupid thing, and B) he was still alive. Every player on both teams was on the top step of the dugout watching, and the crowd was going crazy. And Matt's right about the cops' attitude -- they lifted him up so hard that they almost lost control of him, which would've led to an "accidental" bouncing on the head. Business as usual in the Bronx.

11:32 PM, August 10, 2005  
Blogger jmals said...

The cop gave him a nice little wedgie too.

10:23 AM, August 11, 2005  
Blogger elijah the prophet said...

surprising the kid was not exactly sober before he tried to prove his worth with a leap from the bleachers.

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/baseball/story/336334p-287262c.html

2:14 PM, August 11, 2005  
Blogger jimmyrad said...

Wow, great article. A couple things caught my eye:

"Million dollar home" and "talented rapper."

AHHAHAA YES!!!

This guy is definitely the life of the party. I've got to think there were more than a few people up there in Westchester hoping that net didn't hold.

3:15 PM, August 11, 2005  
Blogger The OCC said...

I did a double-take at both of those lines also. Particularly the talented rapper one. I'm sure it's just a matter of time before the first MC Scottie Harper album drops...

5:11 PM, August 11, 2005  

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